Perhaps it is time for a bit of levity?
I have personally never had to put out a Mayday in anger in more than 50 years of aviation.
However, some 40 years ago, a friend of mine had an engine fire in the middle of the night somewhere near Araxos in Greece and out went his Mayday;
Athens ATC: "Station calling Mayday stand by; Speedbird 221 go ahead with your position report!!!!!"
Things like that don't happen any more. Do they?