If they don't get in to ADL because of fog and they don't have "proper" alternate fuel for MEL (it wasn't ever required), they declare "Minimum Fuel" and 90% of that stuff you mentioned gets chucked out the window
Not correct!
You declare minimum fuel and ATC tell you how long you will hold for. If you cannot make their time it is then up to you to find a new airport.
If you then declare a PAN you can do whatever you want.
If you carry an alternate you have to carry the traffic holding for that alternate. ATC must also understand that if they blow out the holding for whatever reason that should be a automatic hazard alert. Something some of them don't seem to understand.
Another unintended consequence of all this is that if there is unforecasted weather at one airport it can create a nightmare at the nearest alternate as all the diverting traffic get in each other's way and then inconvenience and delay all the scheduled traffic!!