Porch Monkey, in your fuel scenario you do not need 60 minutes holding at MEL (no alternate required for ADL, remember?). It would be carried as an emergency alternate only: Cat III to beat any fog there (or try Canberra..or Broken Hill or Woomera!). So you can reduce your fuel load by 2t at least. And chop off another 500 for final landing fuel; the whole thing (carrying MEL) actually is quite doable. And both these flights were nowhere near full. So let's not get carried away. I can also come up with a doomsday scenario but it doesn't happen often.
If you still can't carry enough, kick off the freight, then some pax. Why? Because the BOM can't forecast. There has been so many stuffups lately that CASA should mandate RPT jets carry alternates whenever they go to the southern airports between 2200-1000.
The pilots didn't FU but 80-odd Virgin pax almost got creamed. Have you actually thought closely about what happened at MIA? You're ripping into Jabba about his concerns ("aren't you carrying enough fuel, you pilots, like I thought I was paying for?") but what is your solution to this event?