I heard a tale where an Airman was moving out of his MQ. No surprises the DIO witch who did the march out moaned about the carpet and billed him for a new one.
The Airman thought this was a scam and as there was nothing wrong with the carpets, he reckoned they wouldnt be replaced and maybe cleaned again at the most.
So, the Airman payed his bill for a new carpet and took a stanley knife and cut a big square out of the middle of the carpet and took it with him.
The DIO witch said "Whoa wtf are you doing"? He explained that if he's paid for the carpet it now belongs to him.
I've also heard when people moved into a MQ. The first thing they did is remove the cooker, put it into storage in the garage or shed and replace it with their own cooker. Years later, when they come to marching out, they put the original unused cooker back. The DIO witch cant moan about the cooker being unclean then. It is literally as they found it.