Not aimed at cabin crew, but:
Cathay Pacific, Aussie pilot, descending into Taipei as a tropical storm went through:
'Well, ladies and gentlemen, this really isn't working, is it? We're going to climb and then go round in circles until this lot sorts itself out. In case your wondering, loads of fuel.'
St Petersburg in a gale:
'Ladies and gentlemen, the weather tonight in St Petersburg is terrible and the weather in Helsinki is worse. Please do your seat belts up tight. Thank you for flying Finnair.'
BA, on the ground at Heathrow, distraught Italian lady hammering on the cockpit door, surrounded by cabin crew (who don't speak Italian) and Italians (who don't speak English):
'Ladies and gentlemen, there will now follow a short delay while we try to establish why this lady does not want to fly with the world's favourite air line.'
In my experience announcements taking the mick out of crew usually come over as contrived and un professional. Don't.
One exception:
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to know that was xxx's first landing as a line pilot. And better than anything I have ever managed.'
Last edited by SLF3; 8th Jul 2013 at 18:38.