Danny has the Even Tenor of his day interrupted.
I hadn't been on the approach desk for more than a week, when Boss Norcross came in rather crossly. "Your wife's on the phone in my office. Says it's urgent". I pictured some terrible disaster. There wasn't much on the tube, he took over from me, and I dashed out.
It appeared that she'd Seen a Mouse. And not Burns' "wee cowering sleekit timorous beastie". There was no panic at all "in its breastie". It was of huge size (she said) and made no response to "Shoo !" and "Go away", but sat back comfortably on its haunches, twitched its whiskers and dared her to come closer ("Come on if you're hard enough"). Skirting the creature, she fled out to the nearest phone box and rang Strubby.
It seemed that she wanted me to Come Home at Once and do battle with this monster. I explained as gently as I could that that was not really an option just then. I'd be off watch in an hour or so, anyway, and would then have all afternoon to sort the Mouse out. Meanwhile, as she was half way to town anyway, why not carry on to an ironmongers and buy a mousetrap ?
This sounded entirely reasonable to me, but did not go down at all well at the other end of the line. Mercifully the flow of invective was cut short as the pips went and Button A had had all the copper in her purse. Indignantly, she carried on to the shops and came home with a trap. Creeping fearfully back indoors, she was glad to find that the Mouse had disappeared.
There was a certain froideur in the air at lunch. There was no trace of the mouse, in fact I never did see it, but we certainly had mice: we could hear them tap-dancing behind the big skirting boards in the evenings. But now we looked out some pungent Cheddar, baited the trap and put it in a corner of the kitchen.
We were both in the lounge mid-afternoon, there was a sharp snap and then a howl of such volume and poignancy as to chill the blood. I hastily revised my ideas. If the Mouse could vocalise on this scale, I didn't really want to meet it. Seizing a poker (Grandad will tell you all about them), I cautiously sidled into the kitchen. It was empty, but the kitchen door was open. No, it isn't what you think. It was a hot day and Mrs D. had left it open to get a bit of air in. And now the howls were outside, I followed them and all became plain.
The next-door dog, "Tina" by name, a harmless and affectionate creature, already obese, had followed the scent of cheese to its source, now had the trap clamped on her muzzle, was not too happy about it and was making all Mablethorpe aware of the fact. For a portly and seemingly unathletic animal, she had quite a turn of speed. It took some time to chase and corner her in order to remove the encumbrance.
She wasn't at all grateful. Regarding me as the cause of her misfortune, she turned on me big, brown eyes of such reproach, disappointment and hurt from betrayed trust that I found myself apologising to the animal. She never did forgive me, shied away if I tried to pat her, and never put a paw over our threshold again.
A little time later S/Ldr Norcross was involved in a similar domestic emergency (or so he thought). This time the call didn't get through to him, but was fielded at an earlier stage and passed on to him. His wife had been knocked out - but there were no further details. In considerable alarm, he leapt upon his trusty "Cyclemaster", and covered the 5 miles to Sutton-on-Sea in record time, fearing the worst.
At home, he found his wife in good health, enjoying a coffee with the next-door neighbour. The message had been: "locked out" (she'd shut the front door with the keys inside, and wanted him home to let her in). But it so happened that a kitchen window was slightly open, the neighbour had a 12 yr old lad at home, the rest was easy.
A second call to Strubby came too late - he was well on his way by then. Simmering gently, he returned the 5 miles to duty. We permitted ourselves a little wry amusement.
After five months with the dancing mice, we were fortunate enough to find a better place.
Just another day,
Danny42C
We don't make much money, but we do see life.
Last edited by Danny42C; 4th Jul 2013 at 17:01.
Reason: Add Text. Correct Error.