As mentioned in post 28 above, if you are worried about a momentary peak of 1000 fpm, DO NOT EVER GO FOR A SWIM IN A POOL. Snorkeling would sure be lethal! Even taking a bath or an elevator ride will have serious consequences to your health. DO NOT BLOW YOUR NOSE. Do not sneeze. And if you hear a loud noise, don't cover your ears! Don't burp. Don't fart. Don't laugh. Don't speak to your wife. These could all induce +/-1000 fpm pressure chances!!
And as for SCUBA, has anyone ever survived that?