Crewing in to one of HM's Vickers FunBus tankers in the cold, early morning some years ago, all was clearly not well. Whilst wandering about waiting for someone to arrive with the steps, my navigator happened to peer down the centre line Hose Drum Unit (HDU) tunnel (he must have been bored), only to find the HDU servicing notes lurking therein.
I found another problem, so walked back to the squadron...
"There's no autopilot", I announced to the Eng controller.
"What - both autopilots U/S, sir?"
"No - there is physically NO autopilot. Where the dual amp controller normally lives, there is but a large hole, with various wires and connectors poking out".
"Ah - best I send someone out to see what he can do, sir"
"Yes please!".
They fixed that snag and retrieved the HDU servicing notes, then checked a few more strangely suspicious items before we started up and set off....only for someone to come scurrying out onto the taxiway giving me a STOP signal. Rather strange, I thought. But then the Air Eng exclaimed that someone else had just opened up a large panel in front of the HDU before disappearing inside clutching some large tool and all he could see was a pair of legs dangling out.
"I don't want to worry you", piped up a Flt Cdr in another jet, "but your aircraft appears to have just swallowed a tradesman!".
"I know - when he comes out, we're taxying back. Talk to you later!".
At that point a very annoyed looking SEngO appeared atop the ramparts which surrounded the squadron, clearly wondering what on earth his chaps were doing.
And we did.
It seems that one shift failed to complete the handover to The Other Shift and a whole load of job cards had been left open - including a serious HDU snag. The mysterious stowaway had, it seems, been checking whether some sprojit flobbling widger or whatever had been wire-locked.
SEngO then charged more of his oilies than he'd charged in his entire career up to that point! Which was a great shame; they'd held their hands up to this totally uncharacteristic screw-up and in their can-do manner were doing the best they could to get the jet underway. But the 'stowaway' was the last straw and I guess SEngO didn't have any other alternative.
Last edited by BEagle; 24th Jun 2013 at 22:49.