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Old 23rd May 2013, 03:55
  #4 (permalink)  
Mach E Avelli
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: All at sea
Posts: 2,197
Received 168 Likes on 106 Posts
Yeh, it can be grim at times. Duty times go out the window for a start. Often the aircraft are in an unknown state of serviceability. Auto-pilots? What auto-pilots? ADFs - oh it's got one somewhere in the cockpit but it hasn't worked for years - we never need them in the good ol' USA.
If you can't handle 20 hours awake and then shoot a hand-flown approach at an unfamiliar airport to a night landing in blowing snow, a ferry career is not for you. And gravity-filling internal tanks that go almost up to the aircraft ceiling is no fun. You squeeze in with the hose and are almost overcome by the fuel fumes. Then it always overflows on to your clothes. Then you sit there stinking of kerosene for the next 15 hours. Taking a piss becomes an exercise in recycling water bottles without spilling too much (piss that is) all over yourself. Then discreetly dumping the bottles at the next landing stop.
Then dealing with Customs, Immigration, Quarantine and Security - if the Company has organised them in the first place. If not, you sit there making phone calls on an unfamiliar phone network until someone flushes them out. Invariably they are cranky because it is after midnight and they were watching their favourite porn channel when you so inconsiderately arrived.
Then finding transport to a hotel that will take you in at 2 a.m.
Then coming back the next day and battling with a different lot of officialdom who had no idea that you were in the country, so they 'detain' you (i.e. arrest you) until it all gets sorted out.
Then you call ATC for your clearance and they tell you that they don't have a flight plan. More phone calls and you get that sorted. Finally airborne, you are transferred to another FIR where they tell you to bugger off back from whence you came because you either missed your over-flight slot, or they don't know anything about you anyway. Then the temporary HF set-up goes on the fritz and you can't talk to anyone. So by the time you get into VHF range again you are in deep poo. A Karachi jail is no place to spend a night, but that is where I very nearly ended up once after a radio failure. And a buddy of mine reckons Vladivostok is worse. One one trip he was detained there for nearly a week over some misunderstanding with his crew entry visa. On another occasion he was prosecuted by the Australian authorities for allegedly importing an aircraft without a permit, or some such bullsh!t. And another time when he was sent to Mexico to repossess an aircraft on behalf of the leasing company he nearly got caught in crossfire between the angry operators of the aircraft and the local constabulary.

Grim describes it perfectly. Sucks is another word that comes to mind.
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