Including your photo in a CV does not make you an idiot, it makes the document personable, which given the sheer volume of CVs recruiters see on a regular basis, this can either have a positive or negative effect - it is open to discussion.
Nor do I think getting a CV delivered by DHL is pretentious, that comment screams something about the recruiter perhaps, but not by the candidate. In the UK, unless you get something delivered by Special Delivery, which in some circumstances may be DHL, there is a strong likelihood it will not be delivered - our postal service is not as reliable as it once was.
Aside from those comments, great post by the OP, but, like others have said, it is wholly dependent on where you are from, and where you are applying to.