Caption competition

[Fantome]

while swimsuits and/ or photo files are being scutinised with intense scrutes -

One day, Bill the duck hunter was out on the border of New South Wales and Victoria shooting ducks. He was having a good day. He'd already bagged 6 or 7 ducks when a park ranger came up to him.
"Do you realise that its not duck season in Victoria anymore mate." said the ranger.
"I shot these ducks in New South Wales!" Bill replied swiftly.
The ranger then said, "That's irrelevant, if the ducks are from Victoria Let me look at one. I'm an expert. I'll be able to tell if its from Victoria, or New South Wales."
Bill, thinking that the Ranger might be a shingle short, obliged and threw him the first duck. The ranger then proceeded to part the ducks tail feathers. He then jammed his index finger straight up the duck's arse. Then he sniffed his finger and said -
"This one's ok. It's from New South Wales. "Let me have the second
one."
Bill laughed and gave him the second duck. The ranger did the same routine. When he sniffed his finger he said,
"This duck is from Victoria, I'm going to have to book you."
"You're kidding aren't you mate" said Bill "You can't possibly tell from that!"
"I told you. I'm an expert" says the ranger "Now, what was your name?"
"Bill Smith"
"And where are you from Bill?"
"Richmond"
"Richmond Victoria, or Richmond New South Wales?"
Bill slowly dropped his daks, turned round, bent over and hissed -

"You're the expert. You tell me!"

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Appreciate your attention to detail Nuttie. Might have put you off your stroke . . sorree. Achally I thought your unamended version of the loadmaster's fragrant finger should have been a laid down home and hosed . . . Our adjudicator seemed to over look the over powering significance of the fingers in front of the dog's nose. ditto that the balus was parked.