Danny sees the Mighty Fallen.
"Everone can be famous for fifteen minutes in their lives ", said Andy Warhol (or words to that effect). For the little town of Thornaby in the North Riding of York (now just a suburb of Teesside), which had never been famous for anything since the Vikings named it, and never would be again, this was to be its brief moment in the national limelight.
Six miles to the southwest lay the RAF airfield of Middleton-St-George (of evil memory), later "Teesside Airport", and recently (to universal derision) "Durham and Tees Valley Airport". In January '53 it was commanded by a New Zealander, Group Captain Geoffrey Jarman, DSO, DFC. Like Ratty in the "Wind in the Willows", he felt that nothing, absolutely nothing, in life was more worth while doing than messing about in boats. (There is a contrary opinion which defines a boat as "a hole in the water, lined with mahogany, into which you pour money," but let that pass).
His dream was to have a cabin cruiser with which to roam the waterways of the North East. Even on a G/C's pay these are pricey items, and he resolved to go about it the DIY way. He bought an ex-ship's lifeboat with a view to converting it himself. Well, perhaps, not exactly by himself. The O.C. of a large RAF Station is surrounded by highly skilled tradesmen of all kinds, who - for a suitable consideration and (of course) in their own time, could be induced to make his dream come true.
It is also true that RAF Stores has all manner of engineering bits and pieces which can be adapted for marine use - but perish the thought that any of them should accidentally find its way into the project.
Naturally it would be easier all round, and save time, if the boat remained on site during the conversion, and a corner of a hangar was devoted to the purpose. An AOC's Inspection might present a difficulty, you might suppose ? Not at all, they surrounded it with a hessian screen. "What's in there ?"......."Paint Spray Bay, Sir"...."Ah yes, very good, what's next ?".
Of course it was bound to come unstuck sooner or later. The underground story was that a SNCO, exasperated at the manhours his section was losing to the boat, blew an anonymous whistle, and the fat was in the fire.
At the end of January '53 the subsequent Court Martial was convened at RAF Thornaby. Ostensibly, this was on account of the spacious room we had in our Drill Hall. MSG would certainly have had a cinema (can any alumnus confirm ?) and this would be big enough to be the usual venue. Perhaps there is a convention that you don't court martial a Station Commander on his own Station ? (From schooldays I recall that an unfortunate Admiral Byng was hanged on his own quarterdeck "pour encourager les autres", as Voltaire put it).
The Jarman affair brightened up our dull life on Teesside no end. A crowd of Press and TV men descended on us from all over the place. We made the national newspapers (and if you Google you can find a report in his home town paper in NZ). His (no doubt expensive) defence did its best; he was cleared of many of the host of charges. But they got him on the theft of some steel sheet, and it was enough. He was duly found guilty and dismissed the Service, "Cashiered" - which means the loss of his pension. A high price for a cabin cruiser.
I had a small part to play in the affair. The part-converted boat (Prosecution Exhibit "A") was brought to Court on a low-loader trailer and parked outside my HQ. I had a photograph of it somewhere, but doubt if I could find it now.
The sentence had to be confirmed by the AOC. Batchy quashed it (for the sake of Jarman's fine war record) and allowed him to resign (so he kept his pension). It was not his only stroke of luck. In the R.Aux.A.F was a Group Captain Geoffrey Shaw, a steel baron (Chairman of Shaw's Special Steels).He took pity on Jarman and shoehorned him into a sinecure as the Secretary of the "Steel and Iron Founders Federation" (or something like that). So with this, and his pension, he finished up, if not exactly smelling of roses, at least a long way off the breadline.
And then he asked the RAF for his boat back ! There was nothing in the book to say he couldn't have his boat, and it was handed over to him. So he did quite well out of it at the end, and I trust has had a long and happy retirement, with plenty of time to spend "messing about in boats" (Wiki tells me he died in '83.)
You think that's the end ? Well no, not quite.
Goodnight, all,
Danny42C
Be sure your sins will Find you Out