I'm really sorry to learn about your situation. May be airline flying it's not for you, specially at a LCC. You don't have to feel bad about it. Airline flying it's for not for everyone. It's a way of life that can be very difficult to cope with. Sometimes it can be very stressfull and unpleasant, many times can be boring. The pilot profession it's not what it used to be, and it's getting worse, even at the legacy major airlines. Flying for pleasure is another story. I think that a lot of times airline flying it's not worth the effort anymore. I think you should find a job that you enjoy doing, because you don't enjoy airline flying. You can still fly for pleasure on your time off. You can even work as a flight instructor on the weekends, if you enjoy it. Find what you want and what you like. Good luck.