If we kill someone, their extended family will hate us for generations - is that a measure of success?
I read somewhere that a large part of the Taliban/ AlQaida / terrorists/ evil do'ers are indeed on a mission to restore family pride/ take revenge for a brother/ father/ nephew killed by the invaders.
Every kill has a good chance of a moderate family member hanging out with his family / playing soccer make the decision to join the AK47s to balance the score / restore pride.
IMO desk research and doctrines make "we" take the smarter decisions, limit our losses and take care not every family deeply hates us.