I resent the implication that people may think this is a joke a wind up or whatever you would wish to call it.
I wouldn't be too resentful, Colin, people are only trying to be kind. If this were not a wind-up, the only remaining explanation would be that you were a brainless prat - and that can't be true, can it?
By the way, what's a conservationalist? Anything similar to a conservationist??