Flying Solo - Why the 4th time is harder than the 1st
Southend Airport and the first Sunday in March. The sun is out after weeks of dull winter gloom. The weather looks promising for my first solo land-away to Lydd, otherwise known as the glamorous Ashford International. Today is an important milestone and my logbook is showing 27 hours.
I've been solo before of course, doing circuits of Southend and a solo NAV away to some local landmarks. But today is different. Until today I've been kept in the play pen, mostly unseen and inconspicuous. Today I will be on show. Until today, perhaps I haven't really flown solo at all.
I start my planning, and I am feeling more nervous than normal. I took up flying because I love the prospect of the feeling of freedom it gives me, but today I am almost scared. I haven't felt like this on my previous solo's. Today is different.
I immediately start to question my course corrections for wind. I've done this before with confidence. But now I start to cross numbers out on my PLOG. I convince myself I've got it the wrong way around, until my instructor points out it was right the first time. My PLOG looks a mess. My planned altitude is 3100ft to stay well above the Challock gliding site but apart from that, it's a simple direct flight via Sheerness.
My instructor and I review TAF's and METAR's. We agree that it is looking fine, although I still seem to rely on his experience to tell me it's ok. It makes sense, but the weather is still a bit of black art to me.
We review a checklist of items. What to do if I get lost, FREDA, how to join the circuit at Lydd and a reminder that good RT will be expected of me amongst other things. Finally he reminds me to stay VFR and that knowing when to abort and come home is the sign of a good pilot.
I tell him I am feeling nervous but he reassures me that I will be fine and to just relax and enjoy it.
Minutes later I am strapping myself into the little 152. The sun is still out with FEW puffy clouds and I try to organise myself as much as my limited experience allows. I run through the per-start checks, crank her into life and tune to ATIS to get my departure info. I ask tower for taxi, consciously reminding myself to use the Student call sign. The Tower, always clear and patient with students, clears me to Charlie 2 hold.
I run through my power and pre-take off checks and I'm cleared to line up on Zero Six. Wind calm and cleared for takeoff, I roll down the runway feeling more relaxed. 600ft up I make a gentle turn to the south.
I continue to climb but looking out ahead the weather doesn't seem as inviting as above Southend. I am handed off to Southend Approach and handle the calls well. I feel pleased with my RT. The practice I have been doing seems to be paying off. I am abeam Southend pier and heading out over the estuary. I see Sheerness ahead and I am climbing through 1500ft on my way to 3100ft.
Southend Approach talks to a PA28 ahead of me who is letting the controller know he is descending because of cloud to stay VFR. I start to feel concerned that I won't be able to achieve my planned 3100ft. I pass through some light cloud at 2300ft and sense it is getting thicker. I decide to stop my climb and level out to see if it improves. I am now directly over Sheerness and I am handed off to Lydd Approach.
I tune the Lydd ATIS and it reports BKN at 1700ft. Instinctively I know this doesn't sound good and I start to feel nervous again but I press on. I make contact with Lydd Approach and pass my details.
I look out and see lower cloud ahead of me. I decide to descend and I feel compelled to drop to 1700ft. It suddenly dawns on me that Lydd is a 1500ft overhead join and Challock is just ahead. I could route around it but now the voice in my head is telling me to turn back. I can't get anywhere near my planned altitude and I am concerned about the low margin overhead Lydd. I start a 180 turn.
Unsure of the proper call to make, I ask Lydd Approach if I can return to Southend. They tell me to Freecall Southend Approach.
I ask to rejoin the Southend circuit and minutes later I am calling final to land back on Zero Six. The landing goes well, if a little long for my liking. I tell myself off for carrying too much speed and leaving it a little too late to power back completely.
I park the plane and shutdown. I sit and think about what has happened. Did I do the right thing? Did I bottle it? The TAF's and METAR's looked ok before I left. Was it possible my nervousness had made me over-cautious?
I am a reasonably confident person. I debrief with the instructor who says I did the thing if I didn't feel comfortable pressing on. Next weekend I will try again to complete the same exercise.
Why have I posted this? Sitting in armchair dreaming of being a private pilot is one thing but now I realise how real the decisions are to the potential consequences of flying. I realise that 45 hours for a PPL is nothing in experience terms.
My 4th Solo has been by far my hardest as the leash of responsibility is slowly handed over to me. I realise what Pilot In Command actually means. It wasn't nervousness, it was the sense of responsibility for myself that I had never comprehended before.
I am a student pilot, hoping one day to be a competent one. Thanks for listening.