1. In the beginning the Lord created the Heavens and the Earth, and the light, and every living creature that moveth. And He created that place which is called, Aden; and for some it was heaven, and for some it was hell.
2. And the Lord created His servant which He called, Padre Ashe; and He made his servant’s voice of the booming thunder, and the people feared the voice for it boometh for many hours. Or so did it seem to the people.
3. And it came to pass that the Padre Ashe did summon to the House of the Lord all people that did dwell in the place that was called, Khormaksar. And the people did enter the House two by two and in their proper order: behold the Group Captain in his Great Headgear of Gold, his Officers, their Ladies, the Sergeants in their raiment of Best Blue, their wives, their Kids, and all manner of lesser creatures, yea, even onto the lowly Erks that did creep upon the airfield.
4. And the Lord’s servant Padre Ashe gazed upon the assembled multitude, and it was good in his eyes; and he boometh on and on and on and on before them, yea, even above the mighty blasts as of a brazen trumpet; for Flt Sgt Smith did partake of the juice of the grape the night before, and the mirth of the people did fall upon him as he slumbered.
5. Now the child Graham was of the Kids, yet not of the Kids, for he was of the Israelites and so attended not the Church Parade, and he did wander abroad that Lord’s Day morning. And lo, the devil appeareth before Graham and sheweth onto him that portal in the House which they calleth, Emergency Door. And the child Graham fell into temptation and did open that portal, and did place therein certain of the Lord’s creatures, that is to say, the locusts which destroyeth the land, and his great land crab which he had named, Abdul; and the child Graham closed that door and crept away as a thief in the night.
6. Then did the twenty and two locusts rise as one to perform low-level circuits at full boost and max revs, and the House was filled with the mighty whirring of their wings, and the Ladies cried out in their fear. And beneath them the great land crab which the child Graham had named, Abdul, did run across the bare toes of the Ladies, and they called out in their terror, and Mrs. Edwards did fall to the ground with the vapours.
7. Now the tumult awakened Flt Sgt Smith from his slumbers, and he cast his hymnal upon the great crab which was named, Abdul, and did smite him thereon: and in his alarm the great crab named, Abdul, did seize the toe of Mrs. Evans, and in her fear she leapt up and did spill the Communion wine upon her finest raiment of Dior white, and her cry of woe rose to the heavens, where all the while the twenty and two locusts did orbit in furious formation. And the Padre saith Behold, the plague of locusts is upon thee for thy sins, and the people milled about in disarray.
8. Then did the Padre’s voice of thunder arise above the tumult, saying, Suffer the little children. And the people replied, saying, Thou bet they will suffer. And the mummies and daddies seized the Kids by their necks and bore them from the House while in vain the Kids piteously cried out their innocence; for well the people kneweth whence came all pestilence in their midst.
9. And as the weeping Kids were borne past him, the Group Captain did turn from them his countenance, for it was red as of the setting sun, and his eyes watereth, and his hand was before his mouth, and he uttereth a gasping noise. And thereby the Kids did learn that the dread Russian plague of VD had fallen upon their station commander, for he guardeth not against it as the MO did warn.
10. And behold, the dread Wrath of the Lord did fill the right arms of the daddies, and thereby the Rod of the Lord did fall mightily upon the backsides of the Kids, and they were cast into the darkness of their bedrooms without any supper: and the Patch was filled with wailing and lamentation.
NEXT THRILLING INSTALMENT: In a little-known chapter of Cold War history, RAF Khormaksar converts to Judaism.