Honestly, if you can't get them on HF or VHF, you can't call from a Mobile or a Fixed Line, you're unable to depart VFR initially, if you don't have someone on the ground holding some sort of SAR, If you don't have a SatPhone or SpiderTracks, you're unable to relay through another Aircraft AND this level of complete and total remoteness is so unexpected that you didn't give a SAR to ATC before going out of contact... Then I can only assume you got distracted on climb, missed your assigned altitude and somehow ended up on the Moon... In which case you've got bigger problems on your hands and you really should just throw the law books out the window cause I'm pretty sure no ones written any for up there yet so do as you please!!