HappyV, while I sympathise with you, it unfortunately is the lot of the military spouse.
You are luckier than most, you can commute for work. It will not be easy and I'm not agreeing its right, but life is not always fair, think of the young wife and mother who worked in Tescos who can't expect a decent job when posted to Germany.
If your career is so important then you can live apart and each pursue your seperate jobs. It's something I did for a few years, sure we earned a shed load of money, but that wore thin after a while and we took the wage hit to spend more time together.
It is a cliche but you can rarely have your cake and eat it.