First let me say WELL DONE and i really mean that. You have gone to the flight schools and sought a second opinion. Yes you have little knowledge about the industry but you have sought to get a balanced view. A very responsible course of action. As has been said sit down and have a think. Read through the flight school stuff and these forums with the folks and decide what you want to do. It all comes down to a risk analysis.
BRAN Benefit of the option you choose, Risk of the option you choose, an analysis of other options and what if you do nothing for the moment?
I have been in your shoes although I was older and had a previous career. Would I stump up 100K today. NO. Would I join the RAF or apply to BA for a few years? Yes.
The choice is yours, good luck in whatever you decide is right for both you and your family