Feb 21 - Qantas due to release its first-half results today has been caught off guard

[fishers.ghost]

Paddy O'Khluless

• BREAKING NEWS: Shamrock Global Leprechaun Airways (SGLA) today presented its half yearly results including a record profit of EUR 444 million. The airline group’s CEO, Paddy-Rónán O’Khluless was ecstatic about the profit. In a statement with the assistance of a Gaelic interpreter, Mr O’Khluess attributed the fantastic results to “the organic transformation of the airline and moving forward in a volatile ever changing high fuel price sector including the blessing of our beloved High Priestess Siobana’lah’E from the Dublin Loopontology Grand Church and our Universal Brand Promotion Commodores, our airline has achieved wonderful successes. We well and truly have reached the Parabolic Inflexion Mid-Way Congruent Parallel Point in our turnaround strategy to become profitable for our international operations”. Just a few weeks back, SGLA’s Executive Team and CEO painted a rather bleak and dire outlook and had profit warnings issued, so this sudden profit announcement has surprised some. The airline also announced savings were achieved by closing down all of its engineering facilities (EUR 97 million), cancelling most of its remaining international services (EUR 71 million), compensation from an aircraft manufacturer for delayed aircraft deliveries (EUR 100 million) and laying off 7000 staff (EUR 176 million). This all adds up to EUR 444 million same as the profit level. The CEO also announced his enthusiasm for SGLA’s new partnership with Tah-Bully Global Domination Universal Airways based in the new global world hub in Kabul with a focus city in Baghdad. SGLA will soon operate its last two remaining services to the new hub in favour of a comprehensive code-share agreement with Tah-Bully thus becoming just a virtual airline. Share prices for SGLA currently sit at EUR 0.09 at close of trade.
  
  
  
  
  
• Not mine but from an Aviation commentator