Hi Rivets, yes, seems you have a real ancient version of android tied to android market.
This link explains:
How to access the Google Play Store app - Google Play Help
Sorry, I guess you're stuck with what you can find in android market for that machine.
Alternatively, you might wish to get a more recent phone or perhaps keep the phone and get a tablet as well. For example Amazon charge £60 to £85 for the NATPC009 7" android tablet with ice cream sandwich.
Sorry, guess I didn't help a whole lot.
