OK Truckflyer, you are simply not cut out for this job. Your heart's not in it. You don't feel it. I'm not going to lay into you for that fact. 99.9% of the population don't want to be pilots. You will see people who love and embrace airline flying as inferior to you. They will see you as inferior to them. You're simply playing the wrong game and you need to go off elsewhere and play your chosen sport. This is not it. I will criticise you for a lack of due diligence - that's squarely on your shoulders.
A few events I can think of:
My first glider solo at 16.
My first powered solo.
First time I flew a military aircraft.
First time I flew an aircraft with guns on it.
First combat ops.
737 Base training.
First flight with c. 200 passengers.
I was flipping thrilled on each of these occasions. Even driving up to the airport the night before the base check, I could barely contain my excitement. I still get a buzz walking out to the Boeing just as I did walking out to my military type.
If you're not feeling any of this then you are simply in the wrong job. You know what to do.