Sorry to be late on parade --delayed by heavy flooding locally.
CBE to Coffman Starter with:
Whilst doing a Running Change at Speke Airport recently a local chav attempts to syphon the tanks
CMG to Rather Be Gardening with:
Chiefy's Officer-Training Lesson 1 - How to get them to keep the cockpit tidy. You will need: 2 crocodile clips, a length of cable and access to the National Grid
But today's Companion of Honour is Lafyar Cokov with the keyboard/coffee inducing:
Another step and the loadie would have his foot in the noose, then the skipper could try out the new bungee cord he got for Christmas.
You have control, sir -- and a very happy new year to all.