Piper, it seems like you are going through a very normal phase of development as a pilot.
You are just one of the very few to step forward into the limelight and admit it.
Most (like me) will just suffer in silence and wait for it to go away (and it did).
I assume you drive a car, or a motor bike or even a bicycle.
Reaslistically, how many times have you had a close call?
Close calls in aviation tend to be somwhat more intense and over dramatized but in the end they are still what they are; a close call and nothing happenend apart from a learning moment.
Barely missed is just as much missed as missed by a mile. Eventually the only difference is in the war stories told at the bar.
You are probably not a military man but the first time you ever get shot at is an eye-opener. But even something this extreme you eventually get used to.
Doesn't make the event any less stressful, dangerous or dramatic you just learn to deal with it better.
It is just an extreme example to show you human adaptation, I am in no way comparing aviation to walking around in a war zone.
Although being tossed around in a dark ominous cloud in a light single not knowing if you will ever see daylight at the end is comparable as far as stress level and emotions are concerned.
And yes I have been in both situations and no, I'm not military.....
Don't beat yourself up.
+1
