There was a a rather shabby pub in Tewkesbury which attempted to raise its standards by putting a hand-written notice in the window - "NO VESTS!"
An certain drinking establishment I used to frequent in Carlisle that had a superb bowling green, one of the guys sitting out in the sun came in without his shirt on and the landlord told him in no uncertain terms he wouldn't serve him without a shirt, turning round he disappeared out of the door to return attired in his shirt, but stark bollock naked from the waist down, standing at the bar the landlord informed him that was better and that in future he would only be served dressed like that, needless to say everyone else was in stitches and it was only when he had paid for the drinks and stepped away from the bar did the landlord realise he had been duped..