Very many thanks to you all most wonderful and surprising replies. I am totally blown away with such fast response, I will take them further.
Simon was indeed in the Merchant Navy, a 1979 Navigating Cadet with BP, finished his 'time' and moved on to a Company in Hong Kong as 3rd Officer. Left around 1986/7 and joined the RAF with the eventual tragic result. From all I have found out he was a very special character. I am in touch with his half brother Barnaby.
I was a 1955 intake BP Marine Engineering Apprentice and have been running a website(
BP Marine Engineering Apprentices) for last 12 years attempting to find fellow apprentices, located 460 with names and info on a further 2600 A few years ago branched out to locate any ex BP seagoing person and that's how I found Simon.
About 3 years ago I made a database of BP Navigating Apprentices/Cadets ( over 4000 names) and actively started searching them out.
In 2011 I made a new Navigating Cadet contact (Gary Pearson) who joined BP with Simon ,sailed with him as an Cadet on their first ship. He like Simon eventually left BP and both met each other on their 'first' day in the RAF, Gary went on to Air Traffic control and was in Germany when Simon died. He casually mention in one of his emails to me that I could add the name Simon Tompkins to my Navigating Apprentice/Cadets database... and that started everything in motion...I never knew before that time that his mother must have guided Simon to go to sea following his Uncle and me (Syd and I were best friends). I knew his mother's family very well.
Graham