(Consultation is available, please see attached form; conditions apply).
1) That a suitably large paddock fenced to OH &S standards be leased.
2) That a Round up of all 'Crats be conducted and the whole mob yarded (in said paddock).
3) That the yarded 'crats be suitably equipped with (i) a Yellow Safety jacket and (ii) a large orange flag with the word "Safety" printed on it (in really big letters).
4) That a pensioner be hired to ride a push bike around the enclosure perimeter twice a day.
Operational overview) - Every time the pensioner appears, the intent is that the yarded ones will stand, raise their flags, wave vigorously whilst robustly chanting "safety before profit". Thus, when the 'ride around' is complete, the yarded ones can return to limelight basking, troughing and perusing the provided scatology literature.
Operational aim) - To yard the silly buggers, while humanely providing useful employment and shelter (UN policy) which will then allow the industry to get on and sort out the bloody mess left behind.
End view) - Any dopey politician who even looks like opening its trap may be arbitrarily yarded for the duration of the clean up: N.B. they must provide their own flags; not made of money you know.
All those in favour say Aye.
