I've been sat in traffic queues on the M11 more often than I care to remember. The A127 is usually quite a fast road, but I've been stuck in jams on that too. Not a lot of difference really. The early trains are certainly a drawback and need addressing, but at least the on Airport hotel is now opening.
The trains stopping at the airport station certainly seem very full at busy times, so I guess quite a lot of folks are heading to and from London - they can't all be going to Billericay.....
There's really no issue with Southend calling itself London Southend as it has done, unofficially, for many years. Southend has been east London's seaside extension for over a century and its distance from the capital is only marginally greater than some other London airports. It's certainly part of the London region in a way that Oxford or Manston, for example, can't claim to be. Try flying to Oslo with Ryanair and see where you end up.....