The five hour rule was nothing to do with making money and everything to do with insurance requirements. As a rule the schools only rent to former students anyway. Can't speak for the Ulster Flying Club. But I imagine it's pretty much the same.
There is no real availability of aircraft to rent in Ireland. Perhaps there's a gap in the market there.
But it's unlikely you will find an aircraft to rent. The best bet would probably be to fly with an Instructor.
As for Coonagh, Mallachy. Frankly unless he's used to short and narrow strips. He'd need more than tea and buns after landing there.
Not recommended for the uninitiated.