I think the debate between commercial ops., private ops and prosecutions so far has been facile.
Its not about them and us. While we operate in the same environment, we each operate in a totally different way. On the whole commercial operators cannot afford to have pilots operating outside the "box". Its not good for their reputation or their bottom line. So of course they are going to spoon feed their crew, and of course they are going to require their crew to strictly operate within their SOPs. SOPs are partly designed to substantially reduce the risk of pilots making mistakes. Spoon feeding the crew is designed so the operation runs efficiently - why should a pilot concern himself with NOTAMs (that we all know are easy to miss, or sometimes even understand) when the company is far better employing professionals who deal with them all day long and are much less likely to make mistakes.
Given how many more hours an ATPL is in command its a hell of a commendation for a system that so obviously works and results in relatively so few "mistakes".
The private guy has two big disadvantages; not only does he have to do everything himself but he doesn't have the time in command and the experience on which to fall back. However that's the way it is, I dont see any alternative. To be fair I have always found that both the authorities and ATC recognise private pilots make mistakes and, sometimes, need all the help they can get. On the whole problems arise because pilots get out of their depth and dont ask for help or they simply choose to willfully ignore regulations of the type that you really are stupid to ignore! There is no help for the second category and just like anyone who does 100 in a 40 zone there are few excuses - accept the punishment gracefully is about all you can do.
For the others ask for help early and recognise that things are not going your way and all sorts of incidents that can so easily lead to prosecution can be avoided. Neither en route ATC or tower want the hassle of dealing with errant pilots; it is surprising just what they can line up for you when needs must, but first you need to ask.
I always reckon a good SOP is if something doesnt look or feel right ask, be it I have some doubt as to exactly where I am, or whether I need to descend for the next leg to get under the TMA, or I am struggling to establish myself on the localiser and not sure whether I was given the clearance I thought, and / or, if in doubt tell ATC what you have in mind, cynically, if nothing else, it shifts (even if not legally) some of the responsibility to them. For example I am going form X to Y and I intend to descend under the TMA and maintain 1,400 between A and B. At least they know what you are doing and if the TMA starts earlier, finishes later, or is in fact 1,000 feet, and / or your track will take you over a NOTAMed special ops zone there is a good chance they will tell you!!