CASA 2012 Olympic Results
2012 CASA OLYMPIC RESULTS
The results are in!! A fine all round effort and enjoyable time was had by all. As you would be aware a number of competitors have retiredor moved on to other sports in the past year or so. The competitions were held at ICAO Montreal (again) and other competitors included other government departments and regulatory bodies. For the sake of complying with its own regulations only CASA results are below.
1. Regulatory Reform Decathlon - CASA scores last position and a Bronze medal in this event for the 23rd year in a row. A strong effort was made over the last 500 meters to complete the race but to noavail. It is believed that next Olympics Coach Xenophon may have what it takes to make them bring home Gold.
2. 1000 Meter Spin and Evade – Another highly contested race that was evenly matched by all competitors. This event came down to the wire and was a photo finish between CASA, the Prime Minister’s Office, Department of Defence, ausAID and the Department of Infrastructure and Transport. After reviewing the footage CASA takes out the Gold medal.
3. 4000 Meter Funding Hurdle – After numerous attempts before the senate’s estimates committee and after much book fiddling CASA could only achieve a Bronze medal in this event. Recent exposure to overseas jollies being publicized,waste of taxpayer funds paying executives bonuses for achieving little to nothing and over $200 million being blown on a non-regulatory reform pony pooh program CASA came a dismal third place. This has been evidenced by a commitment to not replace essential staff as they leave and a savage cutback to Inspectors travel budgets.
4. Greco Roman NCN Wrestling – CASA won this even hands down. The skill and expertise of its workforce to wrestle its ‘industry opponent’ and get away with low blows, eye gouging and other non-approved manoeuvres without getting caught and all the while thrashing its opponents was breathtaking. A Gold medal was duly awarded.
5. 2000 Meter Pigs at a Trough – This was surely one of the most highly anticipated events this year. Although CASA supplied all 15 competitors in the race it was always going to be a battle between field offices, senior management, brown nosing Inspectors, the Office of Legal, Education and Promotion, and Consultants. The overall winner of course was CASA but the department to take out Gold was.....................Consultants!! Yes a fine result and superb effort by those former employees who came back as Consultants to have an even bigger swig from the trough. Well done.
6. Malfeasance Race – This year’s signature event was the Malfeasance race in which contestants competed to see who could make the biggest cluster f#ck while breaking all boundaries of moral fairness, equity, the ‘model litigant act’,honesty, justice and transparency. Again, a finely matched event with a competitor entered from every Australian government department, however there could be only one winner to ‘take home the bacon’ and the Gold medal – CASA!
7. 10000 Meter Smoke n Mirror Race – Once again a contest simply packed with experienced competitors. For its efforts in pulling the wool over many former senate estimates groups, fooling the Minister, tricking many in the aviation industry into believing its robust rhetoric and high level wankery talk and glossy brochures full of bureaucratic lingo and assorted bollocks the winner ofthe Gold medal is – CASA.
Last edited by gobbledock; 7th Aug 2012 at 03:53.