My suggestion if this is a real problem is to do a few hours with a good aerobatic instructor in an aerobatic machine. Not to do aerobatics but so you can experience in safety what the aircraft can and will do if abused and how to get out of it to such an extent that fear of the unknown has gone.
I had the fear issue and did exactly as you suggest here, went to an aerobatic school that specialised in spin recovery and teaching emergency manoeuvres training, it was great learning and a lot of fun. Upon completing the course i thought as soon as i get home I am going to practice stalls etc on my own in my own plane, Funny thing is i still have not tried it, i always seem to give myself excuses not to do it, i think the fear is still there.