The Nr Fairy, I'm in exactly the same boat as yourself with one small additional detail - an extra child, one month old.
I've gone round and round this problem of 'can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job' and I've spoken to many people in both helo and fixed wing worlds looking for advice, as I'm sure you have too.
Like Whirlybird I've come to the conclusion that unless you are exceedingly lucky and in the right time at the right place, face fits etc and you're prepared to up sticks on the spot, family and all, then essentially you have to pay out a whole lot more cash to get the instructor's rating and then take it from there.
In my case it has taken three years to get this far and I can't maintain my motivation to drag it out interminably with no clear light at the end of the tunnel and everyone telling me I must be mad to think this could ever work out. So, I recently made the decision to remortgage my house to raise another £30k, jack in my well paid job and run at building another 100 hours followed by the instructor's course. (Just to show that this is more than hot air the money is through from the building society and I'm in the process of converting to a fixed rate mortgage to negate interest risk. I'll be handing my notice in once the fixed rate mortgage is in the bag.)
Once the course is complete I'll probably have to take on another job and instruct only part time - in order to pay the mortgage etc. However, at least I'll be in a position to move forward rather than treading water and wondering what to do next all the time conscious that I'm not getting any younger.
I wish I could offer you a cosy solution but I don't think it exists (if anyone thinks otherwise they're keeping it to themselves). Caution may be the better part of valour but I'm taking the view that a leap of faith may favour the brave.
On the bright side I'm hearing that there is a general shortage of helo instructors now that nobody can afford to become one.
Best of luck.