Oh mate, mate. Sounds like you have further problems to add to your long list; serious self doubt,lack of confidence, immaturity and with today's lack of training paid for by airlines, you seem to be aware of serious financial difficulty in succeeding.Bin this career goal or bin the attitude. Go & have your cracking hands looked at ( might affect other career goals), have your allergies checked ( USA is awash with ghurus who will fling themselves at you in order to cure), get some counselling for "awareness & maturity building". Simple rule (as this is the medical forum) for any aspiring professional pilot is to have a Pre med. Tell them you want to apply for a professional pilot licence but before expending vast amounts of money, need to ensure that you are medically fit.Think of it, if you pass, you will have a confidence boost & you can formulate strategy in a positive frame of mind.