It still amazes me how long these people will continue with the call, even after something so outrageously unbelievable is mentioned. Are they paid by call length??
You need to be careful when inventing these stories, fun though it is.
I was called at an idle moment by a Tracey who said she was calling about my recent accident. "Good Lord" says I, "that was quick, it only happened this morning".
She asked if I had suffered injury, so I said I had terrible whiplash. She brightened up and asked for full details, so I said I was driving along in Bristol and passing under a footbridge when someone dropped a banner they were attaching which covered my windscreen, so I lost control and went into a fish 'n chip shop at 40mph, demolishing the counter.
"Were there any injuries" she asked, and I told her that I had the aforementioned whiplash, but I couldn't speak for the two customers who disappeared under the car, or the fish fryer who I'd seen falling into the tub of boiling fat. I explained that I thought it best to leave the scene quickly, so I had done that.
She asked who was responsible for the banner, and I said that I only had a quick look, but it seemed to be advertising an open day of the Bristol Progressive Prostitute Group. "Can you spell that, please", she said.
She then asked I had reported it to the Police, and I explained that I had not because the car was stolen and I had no insurance.
"OK" she said, reading the script, "You clearly have a strong claim for compensation and I'm going to send the file to our solicitors, who will be in touch".
The problem is that they rang the next day to progress the case, and I maintained the story, with embellishments on each repetition. After 6 weeks of this I asked the idiot if he didn't think it was a bit improbable, and when he said no I explained, as to a child, that the story was invented.
That was in February, and they still call every couple of weeks. At no time have I detected even a tiny hint that they realise the story is a fiction, and are just winding me up.
Never again will I try to plumb the depths of these cretins' credulity, avarice and stupidity. I have learned my lesson. It is bottomless, and I am paying a heavy price for a few moments enjoyment..