Not speaking from my own wisdom, but rather from what I remember from the words - in various degrees of frustration - from several tutors, I do think you are too much focusing on the numbers/figures.
The formulae, like 1,3 times stall speed and what not, may be most useful when flying a type one is not familiar with. (There's a couple of test pilots around and I am curious to read their opinion!) But I was taught the real art is to hear and feel and understand what the aircraft is telling you directly. Especially as you fly your own dear and sweet, you might perhaps do worse than to take a couple of flights with an instructor, familiar with the type if possible, and have the plane flown to its limits, and make you feel those limits.
I was recently given such a lesson, unrequested and unexpected, and it was quite an eye-opener. The main thing I learned was, of course, there are still SO many things I need to learn.
Or, in other words, suppose you get through all this stuff and store in the back of your head a perfect table of what IAS to fly at which combination of QNH/wind/gusts/altitude/&c/&c (quite an achievement, that would be!), what good will it do you when the ASI gives up?