isn't it this simple? at some point an airplane must be slowed to what is its normal approach speed in its normal approach configuration.
ATC should understand this...and it is especially important when the wx is near approach minimums.
IT is custom in the USA to speed restrict to the marker...after tha point it is reasonable to slow down.
And in the final analysis it is incumbent upon the pilot to only accept a clearance he can comply with.
Also, in the USA, it is first come first served...if you are number on on the approach, it would be the rare circumstance to make YOU go around for faster traffic above you and behind you.