I will not go into the details and circumstances leading up to my conviction...let's just say that over here (and probably many other countries), justice is for the rich.
And poor people like myself have no choice but to plead guilty to save time and money.
The "flying an aircraft without a license" and "strifing a beach banana" he would have gotten away with, but the "mooning of a female CAAS officer on duty" and the "unauthorized trading on behalf of a clueless British private bank" finally did him in...
But seriously, OP should talk to the
US Embassy.