50 pound cure
BILL: This is the BBC Home Service, away with dull care, let the joy bells ring, Huzzah!.
GRAMS: DEAD MARCH FROM 'HAMLET': SOLEMN TREAD OF FUNERAL CORTEGE WAILS OF PROFESSIONAL JEWISH MOURNERS IN THE BACKGROUND -ECCLES SINGING
KEN: By Jove, it's a merry singing funeral. Don't take it so hard folks, it's only a trial one for Eccles. And now for an encore I'll sing a little song entitled 'Looking through the knot-hole in Grandma's wooden leg'. Maestro please.... thank you (sings), 'Long long ago in the wilds of Australia...
F.X.: BICYCLE BELL
MORIARTY: STOP! Ferme Roi La.
GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: I second Ferme Hoi La.
KEN: In our midst if not sooner, rode two men wearing nude clothes. On a unicycle they were. Their bodies driven by legs and their legs driven by feet.
GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: Nothing but the best for us, Kennie. My card de Jour.
KEN: (reads) 'Doctors Moriarty and Thynne, surgeons, tree fellers and old women hit while you wait.'
MORIARTY: We must examine this wreck.... say ahhhhhh.
KEN: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
MORIARTY: Come little hairy Kennie let us give you a free diagnosis.... now put your head on that anvil.
F.X.: SLAM OF SHOVEL ON ANVIL - KEN SCREAMS.
MORIARTY: Just as I thought! A fractured skull!
GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: Yes, Ken, now let us examine your wallet.
F.X.: BOLTS, CHAINS, LOCKS, KEYS GRAMS: TAPPING ON HUGE EMPTY WATER TANK WITH A SMALL MALLET. (TO GIVE THAT HOLLOW SOUND)
GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: Empty, by Jupiter.... Kennie you're suffering from advanced poverty.
KEN: I say, is that dangerous?
GRYTPYPE-THYNNE: If not checked it can lead to bankruptcy, and the Pauper's Krutt, the dreaded disease that took poor Max Geldray's conk away in its prime.
Yes folks, that was the Goon show. Sponsored by the Bar Room Bar Barristers Association.
Last edited by Kharon; 7th Jun 2012 at 21:12.
Reason: Memo - include treasured donkey pooh.