In the past I have been using Microsoft FS. The last years (after switching to Mac), I'm using X-plane 9. You can easily modify a panel there (as I did) to match your needs.
Try using an airplane that can fly at low speeds (I'm using a Beechcraft 200 than can fly at 100kts with flaps), don't bother flying a helicopter. Too unrealistic in both FS and X-plane, especially if you are using a joystick.
You don't need to buy specific controls, a joystick will be fine for an airplane. Don't worry, you are only practicing eye-hand coordination on instrument flying and not helicopter handling.
If you want you can reverse the throttle operation (X-plane) so that the lever on the joystick will work as a collective, pull(back), lower(forward). An airplane on the ILS is the same as a helicopter, concerning the controls.