Were someone to land here uninvited then proceed to piss me off - I can promise you they would not be able to take-off. A combine, a teleporter and a tractor and trailer would quickly be called in to "laager" them.
The chaps and I would repair to the pub for a leisurely lunch and get back at dark o'clock, simples!
Note - no mention of prowling gamekeeper with firearm - he'd not be needed!
Stik