I should get out more. Only became aware of the ATC humour thread yesterday. Just added a couple to it then became aware of this thread. Thought I'd do a cut'n'paste since they're all Aussie stories.
1. Twr to Shorts 360 on downwind: You're number three to land, you're following an Islander on three mile final.
SH36: Is that him abeam me now?
TWR: Well, is it an Islander?
SH36: Just looks like an aeroplane to me...
TWR: Well, he's one up on you then........
2. A story from the old Brisbane airport in the early 80's. Aircraft taxying to terminal after landing 04 used to pass quite close to the tower. One old time pilot whose voice we all knew used to flip us the finger as he said gday on his way past (I think it might have actually been two fingers in those days). Of course we all knew the routine and gave a mass showing of fingers thrusting skyward.
It was only later we found that he would have just made a PA announcement... "If those passengers on the left hand side of the aircraft look out the window now, they'll see the friendly boys in the tower hard at work....."
3. A semi-legend (CC) at Coolangatta to B727 filling the window while aircraft on runway stuffs around:
TWR: TBJ you're gonna have to waffle around on final
TBJ: That's unacceptable, tower
TWR: Roger, standby for go round instructions.
TBJ: OK, we'll waffle........
4. And another one etched into the pages of history from when Coolangatta was procedural: No names, no pack drill, but his daughter is an Olympic gold medal swimmer
TWR: (absolutely stuck for a procedural separation standard in a busy sequence): THI, can you imagine a line between Southport and Canungra?
THI: Affirmative, Tower.
TWR: Roger, remain north of that line!