Quite simply, it's because it is bloody difficult to start with.
You're also doing it at a challenging grass airfield.
You need to just relax and enjoy the experience and fully accept that things will take time to sink in and do more naturally.
I wouldn't even worry about landings at the moment and ignore reference to solo in x hours etc.
You've waited a long time, so enjoy it but accept that it will take more than 45 hours (as it does nearly everyone!)