"Your Honour,
My client contends that the Public Address from the Captain incited him and caused him to raise his voice."
"and did your client verbally abuse the crew member?",
" No your Honour, it was just a bit of friendly banter"
" I see, and did your client assault the crew member ?"
"No your honour, he just tapped her on the shoulder to state how upset he was about the Public Address"
"but this tap required first aid treatment after the aircraft landed"
"Yes your honour, sometimes my client does not know his own strength"
"But you accept that your client was drinking on board,seeing as empty alcohol beverages were found in his seat pocket"
"Well, your honour, he was thirsty after all the cheering for his sides victory, perfectly understandable really"
"And you admit that two of your other clients did smoke on board the aircraft"
"Well, yes your honour, but they are nervous passengers"
"Well, seems straightforward, by your own admission your client is guilty of a number of offences under the Air NAvigation Order, and I sentence him to 6 months in jail and fine him £2000"
I don't think the defence of " The captain upset me with his Public Address announcment" is going to be much of a defense.
A bit like..." The barman upset me by refusing me drink, saying I had too much, so I hit him"
