Oh dear Agaricus bisporus, I think it probably is just you.
Most people, normally during the rough and tumble of pre-school, learn that asking is more effective than telling when you want something done (my son has just about grasped this concept, and he's 3 years old). However I suspect that this is especially true when, as a grown adult, you are operating a piece of high speed multi-crewed machinery within someone else's cultural model.
... still (said with obvious irony), if I feel I need to increase my feeling of self worth, I could always shout at the crew !
PS: thanks Slasher, it was the reporting to management, and the ill feeling that (in other people's experience) such issues could generate that I wanted to learn about.