I think we should stop thinking in terms of so-and-so is "military" etc. Everyone is an individual. Over the years I spent a fair bit of my time "converting" ex military pilots when they entered their first airline job in the civil environment. (I speak as one who was not in the military). The vast majority of these pilots applied themselves diligently and fitted well into the civil environment and made a huge contribution. A tiny minority had "issues" (but then again that happened with some who were civil trained) which had to be addressed during training but this was rare.
From a different perspective, after a family bereavement and the need for child care etc meant I could not continue as an airline pilot for a few years, I became a Military Flying Instructor. As you can imagine this was an interesting experience but have to say that the support, training etc I was given from my military instructors was second to none. They went out of their way to make me feel comfortable in the environment and also competent.
A lot also depends on the Company culture. The way the Board treats the management reflects in the way the Chief Pilots etc treat their Captain and crews. This, in turn, affects how Captains treat their crews and, incidentally, how cabin crew treat the passengers. In a well run and managed Company the type of incident which started this thread would never have seen the light of day.
In conclusion let's start working as a team - if people have a "chip on their shoulders" then perhaps we should find out why and start suggesting some solutions.