THIS WEEK IN OZ 28 APRIL
A number of mysteries revealed themself this week at Circus Oz and all though the time should have been spent in contemplation of the respect owed to the many thousand of aviators from Egypt to Afghanistan who are no longer with us, yep rather than remember a few of these fine folk and many many thousand others, we were to be left with the tawdry performances from all at the Circus from the Leader and Ringmaster and MC Albo to many others. The spectacle of Slippery Pete's fall of the highwire into a pile of elephant dung was not missed by keen watchers of Albo's Flying Circus.
The first mystery revealed was that Albo who is paid to worry about things aeronautical was in fact found to be the collector of all animal droppings at the Girrard Circus, from elephants to blind economists and from which buckets it now appears that it is his job is to chuck patties or other bits at whoever is deserving of a bucketing of some sort, from the wonderful pattis that abound outside circuses everywhere. Now amongst circus performers this is considered great fun and indulged in regularly and is called 'freckling', the reason for freckling is that it has been known that some members of the Circus occasionally, in possibly less sobre moments, fall into piles of droppings and hence end up covered in muck, and the this is a signal to start chucking stuff about so everyone then looks the same.
The second mystery was that the new test for integrity as expounded in the Circus Performers HR Manual is that of criminal sanction and only a finding of guilty 'yer honour' will now suffice. We punters who know the sky gods lack mercy otherwise why would be required to endure such clowns are left wondering about what happened to the common values of; integrity, honour, respect and common decency which Ozzie men and women have shown and given over a long period of time but which no longer apply to Circus Performers. Most punters reckon its time to whack the tap-dancers with a baseball bat and send the rest to Nauru. Some punters reckon it comes from sniffing too much spray on the tent flaps from the big cats parked outside others blame the quality of the home brew.
Anyhow, technical stuff abounded but failed to interest and aeronautical acts continued to give quality performances. All took interest in the French Cozzie being sharked by the French voters and of the Italian President caught on tapes paying off witnesses for bongo bongo lessons with little girls. Murder, lust and weepy scenes abounded in Northern Latitudes and after the Peoples Opera in Beijing aired this new scene Mr Wu of the People Aviation Conglomerate took to not commenting. Some one managed to get a happy snap of a 'dreamliner' doing something and sent it to St.Alan for his scrap book.
Oz aviators elsewhere who have nice pubs, switched off 'Badgery's Creek' and and re-read their notes on the uses for dead horses, an invaluable aeronautical technical manual. Others got out the AIP in anticipation of the six monthly employment review and hoped to avoid the new economy.
Till next week remember Bollocks abounds and Circus frolics continue.