any significant others here who can enlighten me about life 'over there'?

[NG_Kaptain]

This is mainstream USA isn't it?

Seriously- I think you should just stay in the USA. It is much safer for you.
Over here the camels run everywhere disrupting the traffic. You fear for you life here, everyone carries an IED ready to detonate. Water is difficult to come by, you have to march for days and go to the Wild Wadi Well to pull up your weekly ration of water.
Women are kept chained to the kitchen with just enough slack to reach the bedroom. No definitely stay put.

Was offered fifty camels for my wife last week.