Did 12 years, learnt a lot, couldn't wait to get out.... Job prospects far better in the real world, the grass really is greener, the difference is that in the real world you make your own promotions.
Spot on.
Lot of discussion on leadership/management. They are two entirely different concepts and assessing them jointly (and often without context) is nonsense.
Pure leadership in the private sector is rare, simply because it is not required. In a large corporate, even at board level, leadership, as the military would understand it, is limited to the one or two of the most senior execs. Below that, what the corporation needs is tons and tons of effective managers. In a modern company those managers (think project managers for example) don't have a leadership function because (as an early poster astutely noted) they don't have a team of followers (what the military call suboordinates). They are resource managers, and people are (like it or not) simply resources.
It is no surprise some military (and other public sector) workers cannot get their heads round this ethos.
Shortly after I left the RAF I was working for a very talented, capable and effective manager. This is (more or less verbatim) an email he sent round.
Some of you have complained about the unpaid overtime you put in last Saturday. Those of you who want to help this company grow, shut up and get on with your job. The rest of you please **** off, and work for our competitors.
That's how leadership is often done in the commercial world. Management is all about making sure the resources (people) have the tools to complete the task.